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You always feel when you look it straight in the eye that you could have put more into it, could have let yourself go and dug harder.
-- Emily Carr
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 I'm trying a different approach for this one, based on a technique that I learned through computer graphics. We'll see how it goes. I should get two paintings finished today... |
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Went on a long bike ride with Tamara and Tom today and it's been a while since I biked that far. I about coughed my lungs up afterward on the drive home. It was good for me :) Haven't painted in this, my long weekend, yet. I did, however, create some pages on my ArtByBrett site for me to record expenses. My own version of an accounting package. I'm excited about this because it's on the web, so it's accessible to me from anywhere. And this will allow me to see exactly how much I'm spending in this endeavor, by category. That's always a good thing. Tomorrow, I turn the boys over to Jackie and so I'll have Sunday and Monday to myself. Through this evening, I'll be working up designs for the contemporary/worded cards and then turn out a few in the next two days. Kinda fun... I started watching "Shopgirl" last night, but stopped in the middle of it. I need to finish, but there's this at the end... As Ray Porter watches Mirabelle walk away, he feels a loss. How is it possible, he thinks, to miss a woman whom he kept at a distance, so that when she was gone, he would not miss her. Only then does he realize how wanting part of her - and not all of her - had hurt them both. And that he cannot justify his actions except that, well, it was life.  Life is not managed; life is best lived - and fully at that. Ray tried to manage the relationship on his own terms instead of embracing it, and lost what he truly most wanted. ETC: Watched the rest of the movie, and it went a couple of places I didn't expect it to go. I also watched the "Making of..." bonus feature. In it, Steve Martin, who wrote the script and the novella from which the movie is made, talks of the individual perspectives people have in relationships and the "frivolity" that sometimes occurs in casual but intimate relationships. Best if that frivolity is understood by both people, but I think that's hard to do. A woman once asked me, if I could go anywhere in the world, where I would like to go. For her, it was Cancun. She lived for Cancun, and could go there often, as she owned a travel agency. At the time we were seeing each other, and she couldn't have been more unprepared for my answer. "The most poverty-stricken place on the planet. India... Africa. Wherever that might be. A lot of people respect the sheer effort of the successful, and that's justified, but how much more courageous is it to wake up in the morning and know that life is going to suck and be hard and yet they face the day anyway and just live. To see that bravery in person would be astounding." If I remember correctly, she recoiled in horror. It was a weenie-shrinker for her. I'd say that it was the turning point in the relationship. What was weird though was that she never broke it off with me. She wanted casual and intimate at the same time. When I did break it off, she was quite ugly about it. She wanted me in part, but not fully. And there've been times when I've wanted someone in part, but not fully. It's unfair when that happens. I don't think there can be a frivolity with the heart. |
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I love life. Every day is full of surprises and each day I learn so much. It's wonderful and yummy... life makes me want more of it. I was able to listen to the dreams of two people today. One is an entrepreneur who is successful in his business. It's been a long struggle to get to where he is, but he has 12 employees and he's going through some changes in his business. He's about to re-consider his branding, and his web site, and he's both eager for the possibilities and a bit unsure. He wants to choose the right direction. We had lunch and though he was weary from the day's business, it's so obvious that he does what he loves. His story is a good one, and he's a good guy. We talked about his marketing and how he could maneuver his marketing to his strengths. I left the conversation excited for him, and I offered to help him in any way that I could. The second conversation came later with a co-worker over dinner. She's a woman of tremendous gifts who's going through a bit of a re-tooling in her corporate life. She's got a good husband and lots of people around her who believe in her, but incredibly, few of them really know what she wants to truly do. As we talked, she told me what her passion is. I won't tell you, but I will say that it's a very selfless and heartwarming vision. Those who've heard of this in the past have told her that it would never become a living for her. But I heard it, and knowing her abilities and knowing what's possible, I thought that with her energy for this, she could bring it together. I told her that I would be glad to help her as I could in achieving her dream. And upon saying this, she just gushed on for a while about how deeply she wants this during her lifetime. It was beautiful. Tapping into a person's deepest passions makes listening so completely worthwhile. Helping them see how it could come together and take them further toward their goal is satisfying beyond description. Now, a funny. I went to work today, and I noticed that I forgot to iron my shirt. I usually don't anyway, but today I looked like I was shot with the wrinkle gun. It just never occurred to me to give it the iron - I didn't notice. I live in my head quite often, thinking of what might be and how to achieve it. I forget that I often look like Columbo. So as I sat across the table, my co-worker says, "My friend, can I tell you something? I'm a good judge of people, and I think you have quite a future in front of you. You'll be very successful. I know this, and I'm damn good in a casino. Just do me one favor. Press the shirt now and then." Yeah... I get that often. I need to remember to do that. I'd hate to have my shirt put a damper on my own dreams. |
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Destiny is an odd concept. It involves an orchestrated and predetermined course of events over which we have no control. It is fate, and fate is, by definition, unavoidable. Personally, I think that's horseshit. The rugged individualist in me wants to believe that I choose my own way. And I do, in most circumstances. But there was once a time in my life when I almost married a woman who couldn't have been a worse choice for me. As captain of my own ship, I would have married her, but for the fact that not one but two pastors refused to marry us. At that time, a friend asked me, "Are you getting the drift, yet?" We didn't marry, and in hindsight, my children and I are deeply grateful for dodging that bullet. I don't think they would have ever forgiven me for the damage that she would have done to them by an ill choice that I made for my own selfish desire. Was that divine intervention? I'm not smart enough to know God or to think that I could ever hope to understand God. I think it's pretty arrogant to think that a person could fathom God. I have a hard enough time understanding women, much greater the creator of the heavens and the earth. "Want" is a dangerous thing. Or at least it's powerful stuff. It drives us to achieve the impossible. It propels us forward. Those are both good things, but there comes a time when "want" is simply out of place. That's why I think an agenda is often limiting. It blinds us to the potential of the moment because we stare myopically at the object of our desire. We miss the true opportunity, and seldom realize it, and focus instead on what we think is best for us. Water is the best substance I know. Water has no desire. It doesn't have to burrow through an impassable barrier in a certain way; it slowly finds a way around it. It's patient and waits for opportunity. Amazing stuff, water. Destiny, as best I can reconcile it, is our patient and aware recognition of the right path and then walking upon that right path. I don't know if it's predetermined, but I do think it makes itself known if we're paying attention. A person is never "destiny;" though walking with a person for a time might be destiny, if you will. The older I get, the more cautious I become of what I want. "Want" can get me into trouble, whereas if I actually wait for the pieces of the puzzle to fall into place, life is easier. Like water. For an impatient soul like me, that's tough. |
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On the recommendation of a friend, I watched "Sliding Doors" tonight. Good movie.  I started watching it because I was cleaning my desk in search of my ruler, which couldn't be found. I use the ruler to measure out my paintings into 25 cm by 15 cm, which is perfect for my cards. It wasn't until the end of the movie that I looked at my son, Nick, and he looked perplexed. "I thought you were going to paint."
"I was, but I couldn't find my ruler."
"Ah..." and with that, he got up and disappeared and then returned with my ruler.
"Thank you! Where was it?"
"In the toy box in the living room. I saw it yesterday." Of course. The toy box. I should have known. Do you ever wonder if there's a reason that certain people appear in our lives as they do? Do you wonder if such things are inevitable? I'm no longer much for believing in God's interaction in my life, but I do find it amazing at the timeliness of certain people. James addresses this in the movie as he takes Helen "out" for an ice cream. "Helen, listen. Sometimes we are thrown into people's lives when they just need to be cheered up and reassured and it turns out that it's your job. I don't know why. In your case, it's my job. But, I'll be honest, the fact that I find you moderately attractive just makes the job easier on my part." He then asserts that his intentions are completely honorable. And he then asks her if she prefers diamonds or sapphires.Funny how we weave in and out of each other's lives. |
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So as I visit various retailers, a theme continues to pop-up: exclusive contracts with other greeting card vendors. Of course, Hallmark is the most notorious and most ubiquitous, but I've encountered this with other vendors as well. It's as though they fear competition. Now I'm a pretty determined guy, so obstacles don't faze me much. As I learn from the market about what they want, I'm adjusting. This morning, I asked my display rack supplier if they could fashion a custom rack for me that is smaller and would allow me to display a smaller number of niched cards for retailers. So for coffee merchants, coffee cards; for wine merchants, grape and wine cards; and so on. And I have other alternatives. Borders was considering my cards, and would have displayed them but for the exclusive contract they have with Marshall Sherman, a greeting card vendor. But that contract is up at the end of the year. Will their next vendor insist on an exclusive arrangement? Not if I can help it. Here comes my letter-writing campaign. An exclusive contract is counter-productive for the merchant: what if another vendor could provide cards that sold in greater volume than their current vendor? Why limit their opportunity to sell? I think that retailers should remain flexible to market conditions and keep their options open with vendors. That certainly seems healthy. This is America, after all. It's a land of choice, where competition abounds. So I'll keep pecking my way out of this egg. 2 vendors down; 10,998 to go. |
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Well, I'm learning because the market is speaking to me and I'm listening as best I can. - Lesson #1: My market is retailers, not individuals.
- Cards with people might be endearing and "Awwww..."-inspiring, but they don't sell. Unless the person depicted on the card looks familiar to the one buying it, the card will sit idle - in the land of misfit cards. No "Charlie-on-the-card."
- If the retailer is from Iowa, they're proud to be an Iowan and they want some cards to reflect Iowa. Bring on the pigs, cows, farms, covered bridges, and so on. I need to paint "Iowa." Heck, I'm even thinking of doing a Hawkeyes card and a Cyclones card. But Iowa sells - in Iowa. Note to self: think regional. Minneapolis will want Vikings, for example.
- Sometimes, text in the card will be necessary to sell it to the retailer. I had a woman actually say to me today: "My market isn't smart enough to fill up a blank card." So, the poet/English major in me gets to take a crack at this. Fortunately, my cards are intentionally letter-sized when unfolded and therefore it's easy to print on the inside of them. Text...
- I need to be able to go corporate. I have some trips in my future to sit in front of the buyers for major retailers. Michael's, for example, does this. To sell my cards at Michael's, I would need to get 15 minutes in front of their buyer and pitch my wares.
- I know why the Heart card didn't work for me: I wouldn't frame it to hang in my living room. My goal is not to paint greeting cards, but to paint frameable art.
- And finally, I need to change up the style of my painting and do some contemporary designs. My work thus far is more traditional. I missed a couple of retailers today because of this.
All good lessons, to which I'm listening and now steering my work. I'm doing some things right, and I'm doing some things wrong. I'm tweaking the wrong toward rightness.In my favor: - Universally, the cards are regarded as beautiful and classy.
- The size of the cards is a seller.
- The price of the cards is seen as very reasonable.
- When compared to other cards in stores, the employees believe that my cards are better than what they currently sell, and they're pretty frank about saying so - to other employees and to management.
I picked up another retailer today and perhaps a couple more locations. Tomorrow, I drive to Minneapolis for a meeting and on the way there and back, I'll have my camera for taking pictures of rural Iowa and Minnesota.It just occurred to me that I have someone with whom I need to meet. I personally know the guy who runs the local zoo. I might show him my cards and see if he's open to me painting some "zoo" cards and selling them there. If so, Terry might have some other ideas for me - he's a top-notch marketer. Plus, he's involved with Iowa's biggest event: the Iowa State Fair. Someone suggested to me today that I paint some State Fair cards. I get that. I may do that. Event cards?? Ragbrai, anyone?  I realized today that I'm selling not just cards, but my brand. Whether the cards sell in droves - or not - may be immaterial. By simply having my brand in various locations around town, I drive up the value of my work. The more broad the reach (think "multi-city"), the higher the value and the more wide the spread and the bigger my audience. Therefore, if I wanted to get a gallery interested in selling my work, the pitch is easier. I'm thankful that I have a logo for my work.
I suspect that this story will turn out different than I expected, but with persistence I will achieve what I wanted: financial independence and making my living by my art. That's the goal. The path to get there is the adventure, and I'm having a great time of it. Pretty scenic! |
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Tomorrow, I will call on several retailers with whom I met tonight. Lori, Rich, Patti, Greg, and Jan will all hear from me tomorrow. And I've spoken with a bookstore about carrying my cards. It's a national chain and there's a possibility that they might carry my cards. Lots of good comments from those who saw them. I pulled back on my heart card. I can do better. I don't disagree with the heart as a card, but I don't like the design I made. I have something better in mind. The goal: seven retailers by the end of May. I should also have 20 cards by the end of May, although I'm going for 22. The more I talk to people, the more I hear what people like and don't like in a card. "Less people" is a strong trend. And with this being Iowa, I need some Iowa-ish cards. Pigs, cows, farmer/field, tractor, etc. Fair enough. I can do that. So those and the heart card take me to 20. |
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I watched Batman Begins tonight. Love the quote: Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up. Sometimes, in pain we run to escape the shit of our lives. We drown it, ignore it, mask it. But in so doing, we miss the true message.When a baby that is learning to walk falls down, its natural instinct is to rise and try again. The child seems to know that its true purpose is to walk and to explore all of its rightful abilities. And so the child rises, indefatiguable, and works at it until walking is as obvious and easy as breathing. The best part about this line from the movie is that it captures the middle aspect of this: between falling and walking is learning to pick ourselves up. Action comes before behavior. To change ourselves, we start by taking the action to do what we should, and putting ourselves in the location to do that. It starts with a step. Commitment and follow-through and success will come later. A baby succeeds by standing up so that it's in position to walk again. Another line in the movie is: It’s not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you. Or, as I like to say it, it's not the noun of who we want to be, but the verb of who we are. Again, action is everything.If we have an inward goal in our soul to be something we're not yet, or if we want to attain something we don't yet have, we first have to step toward the place that will allow us to get what we want. Then we're in position, childlike, to begin again. Someone once told me that it's not success or failure that defines us, but the effort. I read earlier in Creating Minds that creativity is tied at the hip with being childlike. In it, I read that Einstein said: How did it come to pass that I was the one to develop the theory of relativity? The reason, I think, is that a normal adult never stops to think about the problems of space and time. These are things which he has thought of as a child. But my intellectual development was retarded, as a result of which I began to wonder about space and time only when I had already grown up. Naturally, I could go deeper in the problem than a child with normal abilities. To remain as a child while an adult leads to creativity and discovery.The problem is that too often we're cowed by the opinions and judgments of others and we disallow any childlike wonder or childish questions to break free and find air. Instead, we squelch that in ourselves. It has been, for me, in the past two months that I've allowed myself to be shaped by the opinions of others and I've changed some of what I am. No longer. I know who I am. I know what I want to be for myself. Now, juxtapose that last paragraph with my decision to paint a heart, which is not something I would do. It seems trivial to think of it, but it's not, really. At what point do we draw the boundary between what is influence by others and what is true of ourselves? I think the line is demarcated by the desire for acceptance. If we seek validation from others and change who we are or what we might do to gain approval and be accepted, it's crossing the line. But if we're unconcerned with the approval of others and do it simply to explore, no matter what anyone thinks of the outcome and as long as it doesn't violate our core principles, then it's just trying something new. Children explore and ask questions. Children try new things. In the first attempt, they will fail, and then they laugh at themselves. If they want to succeed at the activity, they'll begin again and they don't worry how foolish they look in the attempt. This is how creativity happens. This is where solutions are born. |
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