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Ridin'

 

Went on a long bike ride with Tamara and Tom today and it's been a while since I biked that far. I about coughed my lungs up afterward on the drive home. It was good for me :)

Haven't painted in this, my long weekend, yet. I did, however, create some pages on my ArtByBrett site for me to record expenses. My own version of an accounting package. I'm excited about this because it's on the web, so it's accessible to me from anywhere. And this will allow me to see exactly how much I'm spending in this endeavor, by category. That's always a good thing.

Tomorrow, I turn the boys over to Jackie and so I'll have Sunday and Monday to myself. Through this evening, I'll be working up designs for the contemporary/worded cards and then turn out a few in the next two days. Kinda fun...

I started watching "Shopgirl" last night, but stopped in the middle of it. I need to finish, but there's this at the end...

As Ray Porter watches Mirabelle walk away, he feels a loss. How is it possible, he thinks, to miss a woman whom he kept at a distance, so that when she was gone, he would not miss her. Only then does he realize how wanting part of her - and not all of her - had hurt them both. And that he cannot justify his actions except that, well, it was life.

Life is not managed; life is best lived - and fully at that. Ray tried to manage the relationship on his own terms instead of embracing it, and lost what he truly most wanted.

ETC: Watched the rest of the movie, and it went a couple of places I didn't expect it to go. I also watched the "Making of..." bonus feature. In it, Steve Martin, who wrote the script and the novella from which the movie is made, talks of the individual perspectives people have in relationships and the "frivolity" that sometimes occurs in casual but intimate relationships. Best if that frivolity is understood by both people, but I think that's hard to do.

A woman once asked me, if I could go anywhere in the world, where I would like to go. For her, it was Cancun. She lived for Cancun, and could go there often, as she owned a travel agency. At the time we were seeing each other, and she couldn't have been more unprepared for my answer.

"The most poverty-stricken place on the planet. India... Africa. Wherever that might be. A lot of people respect the sheer effort of the successful, and that's justified, but how much more courageous is it to wake up in the morning and know that life is going to suck and be hard and yet they face the day anyway and just live. To see that bravery in person would be astounding."

If I remember correctly, she recoiled in horror. It was a weenie-shrinker for her. I'd say that it was the turning point in the relationship. What was weird though was that she never broke it off with me. She wanted casual and intimate at the same time. When I did break it off, she was quite ugly about it. She wanted me in part, but not fully. And there've been times when I've wanted someone in part, but not fully. It's unfair when that happens.

I don't think there can be a frivolity with the heart.

 


by Brett Rogers, 5/13/2006 4:26:31 PM
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