a playground of art, photos, videos, writing, music, life
You are here
Creativity!
Get it!
I like it!
Fun stuff!
About me...
Random Quote
What you're trying to do when you write is to crowd the reader out of his own space and occupy it with yours, in a good cause. You're trying to take over his sensibility and deliver an experience that moves from mere information. -- Robert Stone
Excellent choice. Ryan is well-versed in the numbers of our government's failures and will help bring the focus of the election back to the economy, jobs, and the deficit.
After four years of Obama, America needs some R & R.
Thinking through relationships in general, I said that belief is the root of all deep and successful relationships.
Now take it to the level of lovers. The root of that is, of course, desire.
I've known couples who had deep respect for each other in personal and professional ways. Their confidence in the other was stellar. But there wasn't an underlying craving in their relationship. Or worse, there was for one, but not the other.
I've known marriages where they couldn't keep their hands off each other, but by one or the other there was a lack of belief in the other. That glue of desire kept things together. Barely, sometimes, but since that kiss and physical romance were so powerful, it was enough.
Why? I think that passionate desire makes it seem like belief. There's no doubt expressed when you're tearing clothes off each other or in the midst of making love. Both partners walk away from it feeling like the object of all the world's affection, ten feet tall, and ready for anything.
Sex can also steal us away from the world, from the problems and worries and fears that can erode our confidence, and give us respite from removed belief.
Physical attraction and mutual respect - the bedrock of marriage and lifelong commitment. Without expressed belief in each other and without mutual craving, things will fall apart.
The question, I think, is how people communicate belief and, in the case of romance, desire to the other person in a way that is heard and convincing. And that starts by listening...
The beginning, health, and longevity of all relationships revolve around one simple nugget: expressed belief in the other person.
Think for a moment about what it means to you when someone you know expresses a belief in you, in your capabilities, in your future... you begin to soar. You want to be around that person more.
Many people will tell you that they find "trust" to be the essential element in all successful relationships. But upon what is trust based? The belief that the other person will do what is expected, and if you didn't believe that, you wouldn't trust them. Trust comes after belief.
Belief is never skeptical. It's never pessimistic. Belief is optimistic and positive and hopeful. Belief is therefore attractive. It's belief that "gets" another person. Belief covers the gaps and the flaws of the other person, choosing to overlook those and choosing instead to cheer the person overcoming their flaws.
In a marriage, belief in each other is the essence of the marriage. You can see that by removing belief. Removed belief makes comments like "I can't rely on you," or "What makes you think you can do that," or "What a waste of time." Disbelief treats us and talks to us like children. It issues backhanded compliments like, "For someone supposedly good at abc, you're certainly xyz." Merited or not, removed belief erodes the relationship's underpinnings. People distance themselves from the person expressing removed belief.
Some women find deeply Christian men attractive, perhaps because of shared faith, but I think more because a man capable of showing passionate faith appears more likely to deeply believe in his wife and his family. A person wants to be believed in like that. We look for signs of it in others around us. It doesn't have to be an outward religious faith - a person who deeply believes in a cause is said to be attractive for soulful devotion to the cause.
Love is, in many ways, an expression of faith. It looks with the infamous "rose-colored glasses" upon its object of fascination and sees only good. When we see our spouse look with desire on someone else, it erodes our belief in ourselves.
What does belief look like?
Belief brings out the best in the other person. Belief looks on those strengths possessed and pulls them forward and outward, for the benefit of all around. Belief celebrates demonstrated strength and cheers on more of it.
It's not that one person improves or makes better another person. It's that the person brings out the best in the other so that they feel recognized and rewarded for their strength.
The longest and most successful relationships, whether consciously or unconsciously, bring out the best in the other person, not because that best was spawned by the relationship or the other person, but because that best was already there and was noticed and was cherished.
"I believe in you" - powerful words. Optimistic words. They're capable of helping us rise to our potential, and they can bring out the best in us.
Everyone around us needs the best in us. And if they're not helping to bring out the best in us, perhaps they shouldn't be around us.
ETC: Jonathan said in a previous comment (snipped):
I've usually reduced it down to expressions of respect and sincere appreciation. Interestingly, these things tend to show up higher in the hierarchy of needs for men than women.
That's a curious question... how would women rate belief as an essential element?
I talked to my mom about this, and she's been a therapist for over 30 years. She understands where belief matters... but I haven't asked her to scale it against other things.
Think of sports teams... the more rabid the fans, the more they push their team to perform. If men are more susceptible to measures of belief, then certainly women should esteem it if only to boost their man to greater heights.
Expressed worry, doubt, fear... those aren't belief. That's not to say that they aren't valid, but there's a way to do it that doesn't subtract and erode.
If the US re-elects the resident Socialist-in-Chief, what happens to the country?
Given his excitement for taxing people, let's look at recent examples, such as California, where people are leaving the state due to overwhelming bureaucracy and taxation.
Or how about high tax New York, where millions of people have left the state in the last decade?
If there is an atom to relationships, I think it's this:
Expressed belief in the other person.
Whether it's friendships, couples, or family ties, the one thing most attractive and ensuring of longevity is, after a lot of consideration, expressed belief.
Both of these should have Democrats very afraid for November.
For the first time ever, a person who was not first anointed by the powers-that-be in Austin has been nominated to be the Republican candidate for the senate seat in Texas. And he didn't just win - he won by double-digits. This win came despite being massively outspent by his opponent, David Dewhurst. Cruz instead believed that the crowds would carry him, and carry him they did, 56% to 43%.
I happened to be at the Cruz event in Houston where Palin spoke.
I got there early before the place filled up. Saw some interesting signs :)
And of course, I got to see Sarah speak her mind.
(Forgive my poor phone's camera...)
The vibe was strong, and of course it carried into the victory by Cruz the following Tuesday.
Jim DeMint also spoke, and reminded us of the list of politicians who've been booted by the grassroots in the last few years: Bob Bennett in Utah by Mike Lee, Richard Lugar in Indiana by Richard Mourdock, and others. Cruz beating Dewhurst is the latest in a string of activism that is frankly unmatched by anything on the left.
Then of course there's the thing with Chick-Fil-A, where Dan Cathy, its founder, a man who is so Christian that he closes his doors on Sundays, said without surprise to anyone that he supports traditional marriage, not gay marriage.
"Closest #ChickFilA to San Francisco is 40 miles away," tweeted San Francisco Mayor Edwin Lee on July 26, "& I strongly recommend that they not try to come any closer."
Really? For a personal opinion?
Anyone who reads this site knows that I wholeheartedly support gay marriage. I agree with Dick Cheney on this: Freedom means freedom for everyone. But I also don't have a problem with people expressing their opinions so long as it doesn't hurt anyone in the process. Everyone has the freedom to choose the direction of their own life so long as they aren't stepping on the liberties of others. Dan Cathy isn't infringing on the liberties of others. But he has a religious opinion. Big deal.
So to support his freedom of speech, I joined with others trucking to Chick-Fil-A today.
Even at 3 PM, I had to wait in line.
The dining room was full, and the staff was friendly, as always.
Hundreds of thousands of people across the US did this very thing today. These people are likely Romney voters, and if they will stand in long lines on a hot summer day to support a local business, what does that say for the election in November?
It says that we might see a solidly Republican government in January. Let's hope so.
Real gross domestic product -- the output of goods and services produced by labor and property located in the United States -- increased at an annual rate of 1.5 percent in the second quarter of 2012, (that is, from the first quarter to the second quarter), according to the "advance" estimate released by the Bureau of Economic Analysis. In the first quarter, real GDP increased 2.0 percent.
I have in my hands a letter from a prospective client. I quote:
"I will not make a decision until after the November election. Thank you for your proposal."
I called him back, and clearly he's holding onto his money, wanting to know whether the economy will continue as it is, in which case he should hold on to what he has, or whether the economy will loosen and grow under new management.
Don't think Barack Obama affects business? Yeah right. I live it daily.
Culturally, somehow, we forgot something that was key.
Humanity builds on the successes of the past, but the contribution to that cumulative value by each individual was brought about by the motivation of that individual, by the effort of that individual, and that individual deserves to be rewarded for the value of their individual contribution.
So for the road builder... yes, we all use the roads - thank you very much. Did you get paid for your individual contribution to that? Yes? Great. Is your effort an investment worthy of taking part in the commerce of every entity using that road? No. Your reward is for the effort in building the road. You did not take part in building the businesses that use the road or in the assembly and delivery of the products of the businesses, so you do not get to share in the reward of the profits at those businesses.
Now it's easy for people to listen to the jerk in the White House and if they don't think this through, they might buy into his notion that we all have a hand in each other's successes, therefore it should all be shared.
But that silly concept falls apart at the first step: motivation. If you are forced to share the profits of your effort with those who had no hand in your business directly, then why would you do it? If you had to dilute your reward for your work by giving it to those who had no part in directly assisting your work, would you feel inclined to start the work in the first place?
Each person should be rewarded for the value of their direct contribution - aka, labor. The guy who built the road - he didn't raise the money himself, take the risk of not getting paid for his efforts, or respond to market demands after the road was built. He was paid - by the hour - to lay road, and he was paid with money that was raised by taxing those who work at businesses. He did it voluntarily and thought it a fair deal.
That Obama sees the road builder as some sort of investor in the commerce of every business that uses the road goes to show that a university degree is no guarantee of intelligence - he has no understanding of commerce, business, labor, or pay. How do you get to be an adult that graduates from high school without that understanding?
Further, his argument isn't for equality. His argument is for greater taxation so that the government can control more of society. He doesn't respect the labor of either the road builder or the entrepreneur. If he did, he would honor those efforts by allowing them to keep their earned rewards. Obama and Elizabeth Warren want what isn't theirs, and that's theft, and theft is no honest labor.
Value is cumulative, and each person who contributes gets paid for their part in assisting that accumulation. But a one-time contribution does not make each person an investor in the entire enterprise. Only the person who risked creating the enterprise in the first place is due that. Roads are not a venture of risk, which is obvious to anyone who gives it any thought.
I've written that things are a bit rough lately, and it's going to work itself out. In the course of all of this and some things that I'm doing for work, I'm reminded of something that we always hear:
Quality of life is everything.
And it's true.
The picture above was taken while out on a bike ride, which I'm doing with greater frequency lately. My knees are improving through the process, and I feel better. That, and my diet is mostly salads and juiced smoothies these days.
Physical health, emotional health, financial health... all of these factor into our quality of life, and quality of life is, in fact, everything. I'm working very hard to get to all three.
