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You get your intuition back when you make space for it, when you stop the chattering of the rational mind. The rational mind doesn't nourish you. You assume that it gives you the truth, because the rational mind is the golden calf that this culture worships, but this is not true.
-- Anne Lamott


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Have you ever heard these compliments said about someone?

"She's so easy to talk to."

"I love talking to him!"

"We always have the best conversations."

Would you like these to be said about you?

If someone finds you "easy to talk to" and if they love talking to you, then it's based in your ability to listen and stay with what the other person says.

Over at wikiHow, you'll find tips on how to have a great conversation.

Listen. This is the most important part of any conversation. You might think a conversation is all about talking, but it will not go anywhere if the listener is too busy thinking of something to say next. Pay attention to what is being said. When you listen attentively to the other person, injecting a thought or two, they will often not realize that it was they who did most of the talking, and you get the credit for being a good conversationalist - which of course, you are!
When you engage in conversation, do you worry whether the other person perceives you as a good listener? Or do you worry whether you are perceived as a good speaker? I think most of us want to be noted for the good points and keen thoughts we displayed. But is that always what's most necessary and valued by the other person?

You know, this idea that blogs are good for conversation... I'm starting to question that. Yes, they provoke discussion, but they aren't really a tool for listening. Blogs are a tool for talking. It seems to me that if a blog wanted to attract conversation, it would hand over the authoring to the reader. Wouldn't that be an interesting twist...


by Brett Rogers, 6/2/2007 6:05:12 PM


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