This morning, as I'm browsing around on the various sites that I visit, I decide that I want to discover the blogs of some of my favorite authors. One of whom is Po Bronson, who wrote a very interesting book, What Should I Do With My Life? The book was not a self-help book, but instead a collection of stories about people in the midst of change and how they dealt with the changes they faced. He's written a new book, Why Do I Love These People? It's a book about families. Bronson's is an unromantic view of family life; its foundations, he believes, are not soul-mate bonding or dramatic emotional catharses, but steady habits of hard work and compromise, realistic expectations and the occasional willingness to sever a relationship that's beyond repair. But he also has an optimistic view of today's crazy-quilt of blended and unconventional families, reassuring commitment-shy young adults that "the golden era of family is not in our past, it's in our future." The thing I enjoyed most in Po's first book was how he would ask questions of the people he met. You could feel him learning along with the other person. He wasn't just chronicling a moment in their life, but exploring the possibilities with them.It's not often that people have a chance to immerse themselves into the life of a stranger and explore them with a quick trust. I had an opportunity to do something like that when I washed windows for folks in the suburbs back in the 80's. I talk more about the experience in a previous post... In the course of my travels with these people, I encountered many different types of families and styles of family. One family was two teachers in Philomath, Oregon, and their two kids. Right away, they apologized for the mess. That was common, no matter how clean it actually was. But they had the most 70's shag carpet I had ever seen in their home at the top of a large hill that overlooked the Willamette Valley toward the Cascades. As I went from window to window, each sill was decorated with some momento from previous students and from their kids. What I recall most is the mood of great ease, in how they lived and they spoke to each other. Anyone could be comfy there. Contrast that with the very dolled-up woman who greeted me in Modesto, California, in her white stucco home surrounded by black iron fence. Elaborate Spanish tile, tight light-gray carpet that covered the spiral staircase to the upstairs, immaculate kids' rooms... and she was on the phone the whole time. The cleaners, the decorators, her mother, a friend. She would pop in and out of the room I was in to check on me, just looking, give a slight nod of approval, and then disappear into another part of the house. People are all so different and fascinating to get to know. That's why I liked Po's first book and why I'll buy the second. |