I mentioned to a friend at work today that I sometimes feel like I'm trying to peer into my future and gain some solid ground and certainty. Everyone does, I know, but I feel like I'm cheating and skipping to the end of the book to read the ending and know that it turns out okay.
In Improv Wisdom, Patricia Ryan Madson refers to this as "embracing the wobble." Like riding a bike, the act of balancing - or maybe it's better said as being able to balance - is more important than being balanced. Biking brings turns and bumps and such. A good lean into a curve takes skilled adjustment and an act of balance, whereas being balanced on a bike would be to sit still on it and go nowhere. Which is more fun?
This same friend gave me a book last fall called "Now, Discover Your Strengths." Mine were as follows, and I'll include a really brief description of each from the book:
I've set two in bold: strategic and activator. I do this because it ties in with skipping ahead in the book of my life. It's burned into my nature to find the shortest route and get there right now. If you read my web site, you might get that impression about me. If you know me in person, you know that I'm a very patient guy with people - especially with kids. But where I'm concerned, "Let's go! I know the way!" is my mantra.
- Learner ("You love to learn.")
- Strategic ("Enables you to sort through the clutter and find the best route.")
- Input ("You are inquisitive. You collect things.")
- Communication ("You like to explain, to describe, to host, to speak in public, and to write.")
- Activator ("You are impatient for action.")
Except that life doesn't always allow me to run in the direction I think best. Sometimes, circumstances intervene. And then I get antsy and a bit panicked. I need to learn that it's okay to just be still and enjoy the moment.
Painting helps to take me to the moment. Painting (yayy!!) starts tomorrow. I finish this phase of the ArtByBrett web site tonight. I already know of some features I'll need to introduce in March when I get done with my month of painting, but I'm tired of coding and I'm eager for the brush.
(And speaking of painting, I went to Kris' house tonight and bought one of her works. Wonderful, wonderful!)
On this, Day #15,063 of my life, I've re-learned that not knowing how it will turn out is okay. I should just hang in the mystery and enjoy the book. One page a day... and no skipping ahead.