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Relationship Economy


Only one thing slows an economy:

It halts the flow. Don't know with certainty what's coming in? You're less inclined to allow anything to go out. Uncertainty breeds insecurity, and where insecurity exists, movement falters.

In a relationship, there is an economy. There is flow between the two people, along lines of expected giving and receiving. Verbal, physical, and emotional transactions take place according to the health of the relationship economy. Our willingness to "hang out" in the store of the one we're with depends upon how good it feels to remain there and transact.

One of the joys of being in the right relationship is a lack of uncertainty. Said another way, consistency is everything.

For example, McDonalds succeeds in part because a cheeseburger from the Toledo Mickey D's today is the same cheeseburger I'll get tomorrow is the same cheeseburger I'll get next week from the McDonalds in Houston. There is consistency in the product.

Likewise, the way I am treated in a relationship, and the way I treat my partner, should be consistent. The more confidence we have in knowing what to expect and in our enjoyment of how we are treated determines the frequency with which we transact. When Patti walks through the door at the end of the day, she knows how she will be greeted and I know how she will greet me. Smiles, hugs, kisses, and engaged conversation about our respective days... sometimes, I get so excited about her coming home that I stand in the driveway as I know that she nears so that she pulls up to smiling me and I get to see her sooner.

In the short 140 days we've known each other, she's never met a different Brett. Today's Brett is tomorrow's Brett is next week's Brett. It gives her the confidence to transact securely and enjoy what she receives and it allows her to give freely as well.

As she put it this morning, "I love waking up to you. I love coming home to you. I love my Brett."

She has branded "her Brett" because she knows exactly what it is and she loves the association with it.

When a store provides a level of service and a quality of product to its customer that spurs personal branding, the store owner makes a mental note to maintain that consistency to retain the customer's loyalty. The highest compliment a store can receive is personal branding: "My JCPenney," or "My Toyota dealer."

But if I became moody or stopped smiling when I saw her or somehow changed in a way that reduced her enthusiasm for hanging out in my store, then she won't stop in as often. Her uncertainty in the product and the service will become insecurity, and the red hot flow in the relationship will slow noticeably.

Here's to never a recession...


by Brett Rogers, 4/28/2013 1:59:58 PM


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