I Don't Get It

Your son has been missing for four years. He turns up, alive, thank God. So what do you do? You humiliate him on national TV?

The parents of a Missouri teen told Oprah Winfrey in a show airing Thursday that their son hasn't told them directly but they believe he was sexually abused during the more than four years he was missing.

"OK, I'm going to go there and ask you, what do you think happened? Do you think he was sexually abused?" Winfrey asked Craig and Pam Akers, parents of 15-year-old Shawn Hornbeck.

Both nodded and said, "Yes."

Good gravy... send away the cameras, conduct no interviews, get into counselling, and just -be- the family you haven't been for a while. Celebrate his return. Play Scrabble, cards, Jenga... go for a picnic, take a vacation together, see a movie... barbecue on the deck, go for a walk, go shopping... anything that smacks of time together to reacquaint and settle into the regular and the familiar. But don't go on Oprah.

Discretion, fer cryin' out loud...

by Brett Rogers, 1/19/2007 8:09:33 AM
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"Good gravy... send away the cameras, conduct no interviews, get into counselling, and just -be- the family you haven't been for a while. Celebrate his return. Play Scrabble, cards, Jenga... go for a picnic, take a vacation together, see a movie... barbecue on the deck, go for a walk, go shopping... anything that smacks of time together to reacquaint and settle into the regular and the familiar. But don't go on Oprah."

I couldn't agree more Brett!! I've always been amazed how people that have gone through tragedy, suffering, whatever...the first thing they want to do is get their mug on TV. I don't get it. Then, a couple weeks from now, they'll be on the talk show circuit saying they wish they had some privacy. Are you kidding me? You started this yourself! I thinkt he media can be insensitive morons in situations like this...but don't soak it all up and egg it on, then turn on them and say "Why don't you leave us alone". If you're going to make your bed, you're going to have to sleep in it. And, there'll never be a clear message to the media to STOP this behavior...

Posted by chad, 1/19/2007 9:05:41 AM

Dear God what is wrong with these people? I couldn't agree more. And Oprah, shame on you. This pretty much sums up why I won't watch shows like hers. I struggle to even read an article on it.

What I do want to see is the public execution of this demon. I don't need to know if he sexually abused these boys. He kidnapped them, stole their innocence, and put two families thru a living hell. I don't know if there is a greater crime that can be committed.

I'll even go on record and volunteer to pull the trigger once he's found guilty. Of course this will be 10 years down the road after countless appeals and support from the ACLU because he was deprived of not having a GI Joe as an 8 year old. Don't worry though. Ole' PR will be waiting. One gun, one bullet, and a ticket on the train to hell.

Posted by Pale Rider, 1/19/2007 9:58:06 AM

How sad that these boys have had to endure this horrible crime, how sad that any parent would allow such exploitation of their child and the crime. I can not say that I understand any parents need to put this out there and expose their child to even more public exposure to those that hunger for anything dark and forboding.

I pray that these boys are able to find some normalcy and that there is intervention for them (in my case that is GOD but for them perhaps another person or ally) that helps them heal. I sincerely hope that they can find some inner strength to go forward and have productive lives and leave this behind them. For any child to be forced to experience this kind of cruelty and then to be further exploited by media is unfathomable to me.

PR, right there with you in the fact that such evil should be exterminated and not be allowed to be a burden on the system or citizens that pay for the system.

Posted by Tamara, 1/19/2007 5:53:23 PM

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Such unabashed cynicism! That's my job!! :-)

Look, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Cliche's become cliche because they are true. It's easy to judge when you aren't in the situation, but I seriously doubt that humiliating their son is what his parents meant to do, just as I doubt that Cindy Sheehan meant to disrespect war vets themselves or that anybody in Terri Schiavo's family meant to become right to die heroes/villians--yet that's what happens. There are lessons to be learned from the strange nature of this kids captivity that deserve telling, just as there are from a grieving mom/protester and family in dispute about what is right for their loved one. And if that were all there was in it's most pure form, we probably wouldn't care. But whenever a family matter becomes involved with a legal one, there is media there to exploit it. I find Oprah more at fault than this poor kids parents. I could easily see a parent thinking, "He survived. He deserves recognition for that, and Oprah will give us a lot of money so we can spoil him to make up for lost time and pay for therapy, and maybe a kid will hear his story and not get into a strange car." And the guilt. Good God, can you imagine? He's been out there for four years, and you couldn't/didn't find him? I can see where you would go from 'protect from media' mode to 'make it all up to him with attention and gifts' mode pretty damn easily. It's not 'right', but it's well intentioned, and it doesn't make them 'bad' parents...just very desparate and sad ones. A friend of mine once told me, "Never assume malice when simple incompetence will do." :-) Most of us are pretty incompetent when it comes to mega-media exposure.

Have they determined if this particular creep killed anybody yet? No matter, I just tend to be 'an eye for an eye' kind of gal...or maybe just more vicious than y'all :-) Child molesters lives in prison are far worse than dying--at least if the ex-cons I work with are to be believed--and I think on that topic they are. I don't mind paying for that.

Posted by Bella, 1/21/2007 2:01:27 AM

In my eyes crimes such as kidnapping, child molestation, rape are worse than murder so I have no problem putting them on the express train to hell. If a job opens up for that you'll find me first in line, I'd do it for free actually. I think I'd do quite well as a "Demon Slayer." And I'd sleep like a baby at night.

Although you do raise a good point Bella about what they get in prison but I'll side with Tamara here, not on my dime. Much better things for the government to spend our money on, we know they'll find a way.

Bella my whole image of you keeps changing and I have to say you get a big thumbs up!

Posted by Pale Rider, 1/21/2007 12:51:45 PM

Good Christ, PR! I'm horrified. I know you mean that as a compliment, but you are seriously compromising my Zen here. :-)

Honestly, as far as the death penalty goes, I'm really only for it in pretty extreme cases...and not because I'm a big old bleeding heart, tax and spend liberal...well, maybe the bleeding heart thing comes into play. I have a fairly spiritual view of death and don't really see it as the ultimate punishment. It's too easy for most criminals, in my opinion. In my experience, it's hard to live with your sins...and in the big scheme of things, mine are pretty weak, so if you had killed/raped/kidnapped somebody...oy. I can't imagine living with that knowledge. Tim McVeigh? Total waste of the injection. Gave him exactly what he wanted. Saddam Hussein...got no real problem with it, although I've always thought hanging was a little silly, as is most of the debate over how to kill somebody...dead is pretty much dead. The really wacked out serial killers...John Wayne Gacy types...well, honestly, I got no real problem there, either. Sometimes people are just wired wrong, y'know? Beyond control, beyond redemption. It's a mercy to kill them.

I don't see rape as worse than killing, or killing as worse than kidnapping...there is no "worse". It's all bad. But if you are going to execute someone, it requires a far more superior attitude than I've got, because when you take a life, I think you die a little yourself---even if the life you take is a 'worthless' one. I don't really feel qualified to say who should or shouldn't die. Everybody's got a Mama...y'know? It's complicated, and ultimately I'm a sap.

So umm, yeah...evil media! What were we talking about again? :-)

PS: My anti spam question is about the animal that produces milk that we buy in stores...hey Brett! What if I put in 'goat'?

Posted by Bella, 1/21/2007 2:19:14 PM

Goose-fraba Bella, Goose-fraba. I think we both have a bit of '24' syndrome. :)

Posted by Pale Rider, 1/22/2007 10:19:33 AM