Every once in a while, you run into a set of circumstances that forces you to make a decision where no outcome is ideal. When that happens, the only thing you can do is look the facts full in the face, consider your options and outcomes, and then choose. Then, act on the decision, without ambivalence. What usually hurts people is the ambivalence, which typically happens when you try to avoid discomfort after the decision. Except that it usually prolongs the discomfort - and since the facts didn't change, the decision usually remains the same. It just sucks worse after hemming and hawing. It's just important to remember what Stephen Covey said about the Circle of Influence and the Circle of Concern. Of all the good suggestions in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, "Habit 1: Be Proactive" is particularly useful when you feel powerless against life's forces. Covey recommends examining what you can do instead of focusing on worries over which you have no control.First, notice all your concerns. Then, among those concerns, determine where you can take action. Think of ways to be more proactive and address the things you can do something about. Your circle of influence will enlarge and your circle of concern will shrink. Focusing on what you can do is proactive and empowering. That set of circumstances dumped in your lap is often the result of someone's choices, whether your own or those of another. When it's the choices of someone else, it's wasted energy to be mad about it. Not in your control or influence. Instead, you focus on what you can do, make the best decision you can, and then go. Movement is empowering. |
